“Catastrophically” ridiculous sermon, read even if you are an unbeliever. Don’t forget to like/share.

Preachers usually teach that every word of Bible is addressed personally to you and should be accepted by the heart.

It sounds appealing, but is it true? Now I think it is not so.

Before I thought so: If I interpret Bible without rude errors (such as messed grammar gender or number), then this is necessarily a correct interpretation, because it is a word of God personally to me and God will provide that I could understand it right. Otherwise why would God speak with me, if He does not warrant that I will understand Him correctly?

It is a pride to consider that my interpretation is correct, even if this is based on considering it a word of God to me. Also I thought that if some fragment of Bible is similar in the sense to some topic, then God really and definitely speaks about this topic (for example, having found such words as “palm tree”, “ostrich”, “hyena” in fragments of Hebrew Torah original words, I decided that I to become a missionary in Africa, however I am now not about this). It is a rather logical conclusion from what the preachers teach. But this method of interpretation leads to false prophecies.

I will point an example of a false prophecy which I had in the past.

I translated Jn. 19:23-25 from Greek in an unusual way: “… soldiers (of the celestial army), spreading in couches, who make it stay stable and insert, staying near, and continue safe and healthy and do not shame, staying ready in the presence of others, they made themselves companions and reserved them for themselves, took them (somebody’s personality) into possession, giving her access to themselves, took by hands (the personality to use her), not rejecting but receiving what is offered, the garments of Jesus to put them onto themselves… Also the tunic (holy garments). But the tunic was whole from above, the north of one third of the heaven, woven through all… And they stayed in presence of others ready near the cross of Jesus: mother of Jesus and the sister of the mother Mary and the wife of Clope and Mary Magdalene (that is raised bed).”
After reading this I concluded that the “tunic” is spiritually mother of Jesus, saint Mary, and I should “put on” her onto myself, that is to marry her.

Also I read: “25 Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he said to his mother, Woman, behold your son! 27 Then said he to the disciple, Behold your mother! And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home.” Certainly I decided that I am this disciple and I should took the mother of Jesus into my home that is marry her.

I considered that the spirit of saint Mary descended on a daughter of the president Putin (at birth or later, I don’t know) and I must marry her.

Thinking that I fulfill the will of God, I started to masturbate thinking about Mary. I was sure she feels it telepathically and also loves me. It is certainly stupid, but I thought that so I fulfill the will of God.

The ideas behind this were: So I prove superiority of Protestants over Orthodoxes: they pray to saint Mary, but I, excuse me, have her. So I performed against social inequality and religious discrimination: poor because of the religious discrimination sectarian marries the president’s daughter. And certainly it is a parody of a sect: a sectarian marries saint Mary. Also this was a protest against superfluous formality in sexual relations (kinda that a marriage must necessarily be registered, and if not registered then this is a fornication): just think, holy onanist! And also my pride: I remembered that I heard somewhere some legend, that if saint Mary cannot find for the most worthy man a wife she descends from the heaven and become his wife herself; and I am kinda a great mathematician, but I was not rewarded like I am worthy but reversely nearly starved to death; lo, it’s my reward. And it should have sound tough in Russian: “I had His mother!”
I can note that Mary, despite of expected, really descended from the heaven and showed me many wonders. I saw an energetic UFO, weird spiral rotating snow, lowered to extremely low altitude clouds, the TV started to speak with me from the face of Mary, etc. And I just felt her presence. It looks like this saint also decided that this prophecy is true.
By the way I didn’t attempt to get to Moscow and find her, because I was sure that God anyway will make our meeting.

Then I found one more prophecy. I decided that because no one congratulated on the wedding (because I already had her and must be considered her husband), my city Perm must be destroyed by nuclear weapon. I reasons so: if they don’t accept that my love is real, then they don’t accept a real man myself (can a real man have a not real love?); if I am not accepted as real, then I am discriminated and attempted to be starved to death; and so if people don’t accept that my life is real then certainly the city must be burned.
I concluded this from the words of Jesus:

(Mt. 22:2-7) “2 The kingdom of heaven is like to a certain king, which made a marriage for his son, 3 And sent forth his servants to call them that were bidden to the wedding: and they would not come. 4 Again, he sent forth other servants, saying, Tell them which are bidden, Behold, I have prepared my dinner: my oxen and my fatted calves are killed, and all things are ready: come to the marriage. 5 But they made light of it, and went their ways, one to his farm, another to his merchandise: 6 And the remnant took his servants, and entreated them spitefully, and slew them. 7 But when the king heard thereof, he was wroth: and he sent forth his armies, and destroyed those murderers, and burned up their city.”

I decided that the “son of the king” is myself, because Bible calls believers children of God. The servants of the king are angels which made wonders and spoke by TV about Mary.

I traversed the city and shouted that it will be a nuclear war soon, to be recognized as a great prophet when this happens.

It finished with that I added to my prophecy that the nuclear war in Perm will happen before the end of the autumn, but this has not happened and I was forced to recognize that I was wrong.

The conclusion: If we count that every word of Bible is directed personally to me as most preachers teach, we can fall into a false prophecy.

There is much harm from false prophecies: I was to busy to find myself a real wife, conflicted with everybody, discredited the faith, lost much time. Also I concentrated to much on my personal prophecies to the detriment of studying other passages of the Bible.

Think for yourself: Is this word of God personally addressed to you: (Num. 26:31) “And of Asriel, the family of the Asrielites: and of Shechem, the family of the Shechemites.” I believe that there is some hidden meaning in it, but personally I don’t understand it. How can this word be addressed to me if I don’t even understand its spiritual meaning at all?

The main source of false prophecies is that we give our thoughts for revelation from God.
(Mat. 7:15-20) “15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. 16 You shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17 Even so every good tree brings forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree brings forth evil fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 19 Every tree that brings not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. 20 Why by their fruits you shall know them.” The false prophetic concept that every word of Bible is directed personally to me come to us in sheep’s clothing, but you have seen the fruits of this concept. Cast this concept into the fire.

A biblical prophecy says that I have the right for 1% of your income (or 10% if you receive tithes).

Donations are tax-deductible.