Telosism (the Biblical Post-Christian Religion)

Category: Me

  • How the civilization was destroyed

    The Bible says that it will end bad if the brothers don’t feed a fellow.

    But the Bible seemed to be silent, not explained what one not feed (but survived) himself should do.

    So, when I suffered extreme hunger and was not feed (by my prayers the wind brought me 10 rubles after I asked God for 10 rubles, so I survived, and it repeated so two times, one time the 10 rubles paper hit my face closing my eyes), I didn’t realize that I am brought outside the religious system, that I don’t know what to do.

    Because the Bible didn’t give me instructions what to do in this unusual situation of extreme hunger in the center of a city, I started to do stupid things and destroyed the civilization.

    It works this way.

  • I am a failed Messiah

    In 1997, then I was 17 years old, I go superpowers (like superman or spiderman but real):

    • When I squeezed steel in my hands, it melted.
    • I broke concrete walls and beat flame from air by a flap of my hand.
    • I often kept things in air near my hand instead of holding in my hand.
    • I was a supercomputer. For example, I remembered everything what happened in my life, like a high-resolution digital camera.
    • I knew thoughts of other people. (Once I tried to speak with someone telepathically but he felt dead, because was unable to survive feeling good.)
    • I spoke with cosmos and with God.
    • A girl trying to make my penis unbend was unable to do it. I was able to discharge sperm without masturbation, like peeing.
    • Air around my body shone killing bacteria and viruses.
    • I slept standing.
    • I was able to cure a patient with skin cancer in a second just touching his body.
    • I saw in micro-wave diapason (through walls and also behind me).
    • Sometime people who touched me fell dead like ones touching Box of the Covenant.

    But once instantly I lost the super-abilities. I just walked down a street and instantly fell. I tried to resume my mathematical calculations but was unable. I realized that I am a man, not a superman again and was able only to weep half of a year, because I was unable to remember how and what it was to be a super. I was 100% super-computer for about 30 days.

    I had the plan to hypnotize all other people as a security measure for my body against your nuclear weapons.

    After this I was hit by head several times by enemies, reinforcing my memory loss of what it was.

    So, I don’t remember what it was, but now I have a scientific hypothesis:

    Being a Messiah means knowing an efficient NP-complete algorithm (that’s what the famous $1 million prized problem P=NP is about). It deciphers all ciphers and therefore overcomes sin (sin is a cipherer that ciphers our memory, to explain simply).

    Apparently, I discovered it (solved P=NP) in my 17 age, but I had some small error (maybe, this error that I got from logic studybooks). I feel when I hit this error; my memory again was just a cipher for me and I was unable to remember what happened.

    Note that, if the above is true, then my external behavior was indistinguishable from a real Messiah, because nobody was able to know that I have a small error inside.

    So, the citizens of Perm, Russia (including Russian Orthodoxes, Yehudis, Baptists, Charismatics/Pentecostals), rejected a 100% real Messiah. Rejecting a real Messiah is worse that Somomians did.

    Now I am in Ashkelon, Israel, and disgusting Israeli bastards don’t respect the deadbody of Messiah they have now at all.

    Once I was asked like “What you, superman, miss on the Earth the most?” I replied, “Superwoman.”

  • What is my sexual orientation?

    What is my sexual orientation?

    Disgusting bastard, my orientation is not sexual! I am oriented to mathematics. It seems I am the only man on the Earth that has non-sexual orientation, rewrite disgusting bastard orientation science textbooks.

    Well, I am in a man’s body and my hardware does want a woman. Is there any woman with non-sexual orientation? I would probably marry you.

  • Scientificism, a silly dislogic

    Scientificism, also sometimes called scientism, is the ideology that all knowledge should be scientific and hold by academia.

    • Scientificist: All data should be got from technological measurement devices.
    • Me: To measure a thing we need a device with a measurement arrow, to measure the position of the measurement arrow we need another device of the measurement arrow, to measure it, we need another device with arrow, … The cost of science is infinite.
    • Scientificist: Scientific knowledge belongs to academia.
    • Me: Wait, I hold a half of your shares!
    • Scientificist: Knowledge is published in scientific databases.
    • Me: Half of shares of scientific databases is held by a sexual maniac that reject science.
    • Scientificist: We base our objective knowledge on measurements.
    • Me: To define electron, we measure it with a brain, a brain has electrons inside, to define electron, we need to define electron first.
    • Scientificist: We work for the greatest, USA science!
    • Me: I got half of your economy.

  • What I comprehended in the age 5 years

    When I was 5 years old, I realized that humanity will perish from greed. Everyone around is crazy greedy.

    I wasn’t particularly smart at the time: I almost died trying to fly holding a balloon. And it was in economy, too, that I was not particularly smart: I sent Gorbachev a proposal to add zero to the money so that everyone would become 10 times richer. But I understood the result of greed perfectly.

  • Stay on Your Knees Before the Screen

    If you are a President, Rabi, Church congregation leader, billionaire, Nobel Prize laureate, give me an advice.

    If you didn’t, if you are a President, Rabi, Church congregation leader, billionaire, Nobel Prize laureate, stay on your knees before the author of this blog, because you are before a human, speechless dog.

  • A Spy Against Black Homosexuals 🙂

    I am a spy from God accordingly the Revelation. Actually, I am a so good spy that I don’t need to hide myself.

    Yesterday I was secretly threaten by two homosexuals, one of them big.

    As a response, I did a counter-attack.

    That my attack revealed a network a spies here in Shapira, Ashkelon, Israel (I live in a black neighborhood, BTW there are many beautiful girls here.):

    When I exited from the house, I found almost no people on the streets. Their spirits were threatened by my attack on homosexuals, only me is not afraid. Only me is against hate of homosexuals in advance.

    I started to ask people why there are so little people on the streets and after this many people instantly appeared, sent by the Ashkelon network of earthling’s spies.

  • Is this sect funnier that Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

    Poll

  • An ancient Russian Orthodox prophecy accomplished

    An ancient Russian Orthodox prophecy (I remember for sure that such a prophecy exists, but I can’t find it in Internet, please comment with a reference.) says that the world will die as a result of forcibly parting ways of a loving couple of a man and a woman.

    It accomplished this way:

    I was 17, I met a 15 years girl. We started to speak. In scorn I asked her a question to laugh about a stupid answer. But she gave a correct answer. She is a genius!, though I. A few phrases, and I understood that she had essentially the same views as me.

    The girl was also very beautiful and I proposed her marriage. She agreed.

    We spoke about different things.

    Among other things, I started to speak about sex. I offered her sex. But after a second remembered it may produce a child. But she responded she never yet had menstruation and so would not bear a child. We had sex. (The law about child “abuse” did not matter: we didn’t reach legal responsibility age.)

    But our conspiracy was bad. Her father (He was a state official. Hm, maybe they were Maria Putina and Putin? I don’t remember that man’s look at all.) He forcibly parted us.

    So, the world died this way, because I had no dowry to make my financial state sane.

    This repeated several times. Apparently, I was also very happily married (apparently, without state registration) to a K-12 math teacher and to a math professor (both much elder than me, but I considered them young because despite of me being then a teenager, 24 or so years old women are sometimes felt by me as somehow too young) – maybe two math professors (one a white Russian and another black, probably American), but my head was hit so badly that I don’t know the details.

  • Netta and SEO

    Hi Netta. As far as I understand from telepathy, I don’t much deviate you from the work. So, yet a letter:

    This is my favorite song. I am almost sure you know Russian (or is it a spiritual translator?), the song is in Russian. Comically this great song is song by a group that is also famous for such things as zoofile songs.

    So, I write to tell that I seems to definitely notice that YouTube’s algorithm (note that YouTube is a subsidiary of Google) noticed our relation. But I am not sure if YouTube thinks about what you wrote somewhere, your friends wrote, or your non-friends wrote, or extrapolates what I wrote alone, or is it a spirit, too?