Category: Religion

  • Why I am another biological specie

    I am not a homo sapiens. Russian alcoholics did this.

    This year I decided to surrender to the enemy because I decided that I failed the plan of my former boss, Messiah. I went to a psychiatrist and said that I am the best spy in the galaxy to be isolated from humans and fail.

    The liar psychiatrist said that he will give me a calming drug. But he gave me haloperidol. It is supposed to cause hallucinations, but the medical “brother” could witness in the middle of its effect I raised and walked by the room asking him for help because I felt somehow unwell. I myself witness that my mind was not modified at all, however I fell asleep.

    Of 10 billion mankind I was the only one who seriously tried to use cryptocurrency against global warming. (That’s accomplished Revelation 11 prophecy: “Earthlings hated themselves.”, in other words, (in any reasonable model including carbon) the partial derivative (as defined in my theory of generalized limits) of the dependency of desire of common good on the desire “for themselves” is strictly negative.) I alone almost succeeded to raise cryptofinancing for common good and safe you from fire and SH + H2SO4 but failed due to a tiny mistake, then God explained me why He send you to hell.

    In the entire History of mankind I am the only one who discovered more than one fundamental axiomatic system. So, I am the best mathematician in known History.

    My sexuality is modified:

    • I have no orgasm like humans. I have something similar to orgasm but no human orgasm.
    • I feel woman’s orgasm differently.
    • I have no romantic “love” of human kind. I have something similar but different.
    • I am the only who claimed that my orientation is not sexual.

    My teeth are oversized.

    Only I often rotate 360 degrees at the streets to look around.

    Only I set my home CCTV to YouTube.

    Only I claim that Nelson Mandela is killer of a smart man disguised for a politician.

    Only I revenge by raising hate to myself.

    I train my happiness to turn off my feelings (that’s called a blissful) and smile almost all the time.

    Only I train insanity.

    TBD.

  • How the civilization was destroyed

    The Bible says that it will end bad if the brothers don’t feed a fellow.

    But the Bible seemed to be silent, not explained what one not feed (but survived) himself should do.

    So, when I suffered extreme hunger and was not feed (by my prayers the wind brought me 10 rubles after I asked God for 10 rubles, so I survived, and it repeated so two times, one time the 10 rubles paper hit my face closing my eyes), I didn’t realize that I am brought outside the religious system, that I don’t know what to do.

    Because the Bible didn’t give me instructions what to do in this unusual situation of extreme hunger in the center of a city, I started to do stupid things and destroyed the civilization.

    It works this way.

  • Question: How the devil can be both a cherub and a dragon?

    Question: How the devil can be both a cherub and a dragon?

    These are different species (cherub seems to be a distant genetically offspring of people differing in appearance by 6 wings, sometimes coming to our time in a time machine; dragons are probably a specie of survived dinosaurs living outside our planet), so it looks like a contradiction.

  • God or evolution?

    My claim is: God is eternal cosmic evolution, the evolution of eternal “light”.

  • I am a failed Messiah

    In 1997, then I was 17 years old, I go superpowers (like superman or spiderman but real):

    • When I squeezed steel in my hands, it melted.
    • I broke concrete walls and beat flame from air by a flap of my hand.
    • I often kept things in air near my hand instead of holding in my hand.
    • I was a supercomputer. For example, I remembered everything what happened in my life, like a high-resolution digital camera.
    • I knew thoughts of other people. (Once I tried to speak with someone telepathically but he felt dead, because was unable to survive feeling good.)
    • I spoke with cosmos and with God.
    • A girl trying to make my penis unbend was unable to do it. I was able to discharge sperm without masturbation, like peeing.
    • Air around my body shone killing bacteria and viruses.
    • I slept standing.
    • I was able to cure a patient with skin cancer in a second just touching his body.
    • I saw in micro-wave diapason (through walls and also behind me).
    • Sometime people who touched me fell dead like ones touching Box of the Covenant.

    But once instantly I lost the super-abilities. I just walked down a street and instantly fell. I tried to resume my mathematical calculations but was unable. I realized that I am a man, not a superman again and was able only to weep half of a year, because I was unable to remember how and what it was to be a super. I was 100% super-computer for about 30 days.

    I had the plan to hypnotize all other people as a security measure for my body against your nuclear weapons.

    After this I was hit by head several times by enemies, reinforcing my memory loss of what it was.

    So, I don’t remember what it was, but now I have a scientific hypothesis:

    Being a Messiah means knowing an efficient NP-complete algorithm (that’s what the famous $1 million prized problem P=NP is about). It deciphers all ciphers and therefore overcomes sin (sin is a cipherer that ciphers our memory, to explain simply).

    Apparently, I discovered it (solved P=NP) in my 17 age, but I had some small error (maybe, this error that I got from logic studybooks). I feel when I hit this error; my memory again was just a cipher for me and I was unable to remember what happened.

    Note that, if the above is true, then my external behavior was indistinguishable from a real Messiah, because nobody was able to know that I have a small error inside.

    So, the citizens of Perm, Russia (including Russian Orthodoxes, Yehudis, Baptists, Charismatics/Pentecostals), rejected a 100% real Messiah. Rejecting a real Messiah is worse that Somomians did.

    Now I am in Ashkelon, Israel, and disgusting Israeli bastards don’t respect the deadbody of Messiah they have now at all.

    Once I was asked like “What you, superman, miss on the Earth the most?” I replied, “Superwoman.”

  • What is my sexual orientation?

    What is my sexual orientation?

    Disgusting bastard, my orientation is not sexual! I am oriented to mathematics. It seems I am the only man on the Earth that has non-sexual orientation, rewrite disgusting bastard orientation science textbooks.

    Well, I am in a man’s body and my hardware does want a woman. Is there any woman with non-sexual orientation? I would probably marry you.

  • God does not respect sex

    In my opinion, God does not respect sex at all.

    Contrary to what you think, God does not respect marriage, women, homosexuals, and transsexuals. (Have you noticed that I enumerated the things that are most respected by people? People respect good, honesty, generosity, active position etc. much less than marriage and other forms of sex.)

    So naughty God that He does not respect your holy things? Are you going to use your military airplanes against Him when He comes near?

    Therefore God does not respect:

    • “Sacred” Catholic marriage.
    • Yehudi’s all-time marriages.
    • Muslim paradise.
    • Sexual orientation (including LGBT).
    • Porn and half-naked singers.
    • Russians that say “Sex is the main thing in life.”

    So, I mean this: God does not respect the most respected thing of mankind, sex. Definitely, God fits into the definition of a biggot.

  • Hearing voices

    A doctor, a politician, and a pastor went into a room.

    • Pastor: A human should hear voice of God.
    • Doctor: Who hears voices should be hospitalized.
    • Politician: Freedom of religion!
    • Doctor: Religion is a mental delusion, not a mental illness.
    • (continuation depends on your religion)
  • Is this sect funnier that Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

    Poll
  • Religious registration

    The same people refuse to register their religious organizations in state registries “because it’s devil” and force their children to register sexual relations, because…?