Author: Victor Porton

  • Why God denounces lie?

    Why God denounces lie? I think one of the reasons is the following:

    If we play chess, we can easily move the pieces not by rules to win, but we don’t do this.

    In the same way, honesty sometimes makes our task (and the task of God himself) more difficult, for greater glory of God that is more interesting party, and thus greater reward.

  • I appeared to finally understand what was the case

    I received a mad “revelation”. See my earlier sermon.

    But a word from God cannot be a rave. Where is the error? I appeared to finally understand what was the case:

    I translated Jn. 19:23-25 with the Greek in an unusual way (a little modified the unusual translation, which I made just changing words with their alternative meanings (homonyms) from the dictionary or derived meanings of the words with the same root, exactly according to Greek grammar):

    soldiers (of the celestial army), spreading in couches, who make it stay stable and insert, staying near, and continue safe and healthy and do not shame, staying ready in the presence of others, they made themselves companions and reserved them for themselves, took them (somebody’s personality) by lot into possession, giving her access to themselves, took by hands (the personality to use her), not rejecting but receiving what is offered, the garments of Jesus to put them onto themselves… Also the tunic (holy garments). But the tunic was whole from above, the north of one third of the heaven, woven through all… And they stayed in presence of others ready near the cross of Jesus: mother of Jesus and the sister of the mother Mary and the wife of Clope and Mary Magdalene (that is raised bed).

    After reading this (see more details in that sermon), I decided that the Lord calls me to marry as if His mother whose spirit, in my opinion, came down to Maria Putina and began to engage in onanism and sexual fantasies, thinking of something Maria Putina or St. Mary.

    I distorted the meaning of the words of the Lord into the contrary. This was for two main reasons:

    • I thought that if the meaning of a fragment of the Bible resembles a situation, then this is what this situation is about. The left arrow and the right arrow (contraries) are very similar to each other, there are almost no differences between them. Naturally, with such an approach, I messed them with each other. The Lord wanted to teach us to distinguish similar, but different things.
    • I was looking at myself, not at Jesus. I thought the Bible was talking about me, and she was talking only about Jesus (see John 5:39). I had such a theological concept that every word of the Bible is addressed to me personally. That was a mistake.

    So the Lord compares His kingdom with “collective” sex.

    So the kingdom of God is like a brothel. We and even the saints in heaven are so ridiculously trying to please each other, that we are no different from prostitutes who satisfy their clients. You need to please God. It is written (Ephesians 5:28) “Thus should husbands love their wives as their bodies: he who loves his wife loves himself.” It means doing everything she needs, but not making her your idol. On the Earth, spirits from the sky even made the nonsense, which is called astral sex or sex with aliens.

    It is like a frozen computer: If a computer is running some kind of a wrong program, it is in no way different from a hung computer.

    Another impression is that these three women, including the very mother of Jesus, were sexually excited, apparently because He hung naked on the cross. And the Bible calls them His sacred garments. What a contrast: we are both sinners and saints at the same time. And He is only a saint.

    And what does the word “lot” mean in this fragment of the Gospel? This means that wives are chosen randomly. Someone just marries to the most beautiful girl, someone who is passionate about the idea of ​​marrying somebody good or spiritual, and not beautiful, other things being equal chooses the less beautiful one. This is because we have lost the criterion on which to define spirituality. We have forgotten that these are the sacred garments of Jesus. Someone, as it seems to him, receives a revelation from God: marry just this girl and that’s it. I got confused, not understanding the criteria for choosing a wife, and I was left alone. This happens randomly, as by lot. God needs our heart, not our formal revelation.

    The family has become our idol. We have forgotten that there are more important things: the salvation of the world, the economy of our country, scientific research, charity and so on. We are soldiers of the heavenly army, how can we devote our time to worldly things?

    Choose wives according to the spirit, as the holy garments of the Lord.

    For example, I want to marry a beautiful in my eyes Protestant woman who knows mathematics. I think that if I marry a girl who does not know mathematics, then I will simply hate my wife, because I cannot tolerate stupidity. Well, what if it will be a family if the wife does not even read my books? in my opinion, it is rather a brothel.

    (Jos. 1: 2) “And the Lord said to Hosea: Go, take a prostitute for your wife.” Go, said, marry a prostitute. Why did the Lord say to the prophet this? I think because his so-called “spiritual” lover was no better. The Lord simply prompted him to make a better choice. It was a “random” revelation, as by lot.

    What else does the Lord want to explain through this highly hype event? The fact that we can find the hidden meaning of the Bible, if we read it with the dictionaries of the original languages, looking for not only human meaning, but also hidden “encrypted” inhuman meaning.

    Also (Jn. 19:24):

    So the words came: to open Him to each other (together, in a different way), and we will cast lots with the goal of teasing, completing the period/task, checking, coinciding with the prediction, being complete, preaching fully, making the Scriptures perfect: divided into portions or divided my garments among themselves and casted lots for my garments. So did the soldiers (of the heavenly army).

    We now have received the words from the Lord: (We will) open His (secrets) to each other differently, but by random whose (these words will be) (decide) to coincide with (this) prediction and complete the task of fully preaching the Bible, (reach) abundance (economic growth) and perfection (freeing from sin), (complete previous) period (if history), check the Bible (that this is a real message from God). Now I know that this is what we will do.

    Another meaning: Before the second coming of Christ, the “star-fall” is awaited, that is, the spirits of the stars will descend to Earth: (Rev. 6:13) “And the stars of heaven fell to the earth, even as a fig tree casts her untimely figs, when she is shaken of a mighty wind.” Note that the figs are not yet mature, that is, the algorithms are not perfect. And they can become our wives! We are the same soldiers of the heavenly army, because the stars also fall on us.

  • What do you think God will do in my life? Please comment

    Now I realize that there is no law for me, it means that I cannot understand anything what I should do in my life. But (Romans 5:13) “For until the law sin was in the world: but sin is not imputed when there is no law because I realize that my religious practices and beliefs were wrong and (Rom. 4:15) “Because the law works wrath: for where no law is, there is no transgression.” For this reason I think there is no more wrath of God in my life and consequently soon I expect to become a milliordaire because in the plan of God I wrote some blog articles of great degree of hype. I ask you to read https://portonsermons.wordpress.com/2019/03/02/false-prophecies/ and comment from the point of an independent observer, whether this looks like so much hype proceeding from God

  • Christ in us is the dream of glory

    In my opinion, the word “hope” in the Gospel is better to be translated “dream”. For example:

    (Heb. 11:1) “Now faith is the substance of things dreamed for, the evidence of things not seen.”

    Faith works through dream. We dream and our dream is accomplished.

    (1Thes. 4) “13 But I would not have you to be ignorant, brothers, concerning them which are asleep, that you sorrow not, even as others which have no dream. 14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him. 15 For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain to the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.”

    1Thes. 4:13 says that unbelievers don’t have dream. True dream is only in Christ.

    (Colossians 1) 23 If you continue in the faith grounded and settled, and be not moved away from the dream of the gospel, which you have heard, and which was preached to every creature which is under heaven; whereof I Paul am made a minister; 24 Who now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up that which is behind of the afflictions of Christ in my flesh for his body’s sake, which is the church: 25 Whereof I am made a minister, according to the dispensation of God which is given to me for you, to fulfill the word of God; 26 Even the mystery which has been hid from ages and from generations, but now is made manifest to his saints: 27 To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory: 28 Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus: 29 Where unto I also labor, striving according to his working, which works in me mightily.

    This says about the dream of gospel, that is the dream we have in our life based on gospel revelations. I think what is preached in gospel is the most important thing of gospel, that is the most important thing is to live in the dream.

    The dream was accomplished through the sufferings as related to described in this my sermon. The dream is the essence of the life of the church not only in this age but in the entire eternity too. The ministry (purpose of the life) of Paul was to make dispensation of God that is accomplishment of the dream in the eternity, as the word of God eternally accomplishes. It is a mystery which is now is manifested only to saints (these who believe).

    And now to the main revelation of this blog post: Christ in us is the dream of glory. In other words, Christ in us is the dream of hype. He exists in us in the form of our dream. It is our only purpose to reach as much hype as possible in all the eternity. We are bloggers in God’s Internet which is Christ. The hype is among gentiles that is among these who are lower than us. The hype leads to richness (both in the future world and in this world). The hype is accomplished by understanding of mysteries. We preach Christ in us that is our internal aspiration to hype. To reach this all kinds of “wisdom” (knowledge) is necessary. We do the work to reach this purpose with mighty power of Christ in us.

    (Psalms 2:8) “Ask of me, and I shall give you the heathen for your inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for your possession.”

    Ask the Lord to overcome nations using hype. Receive their authority and richness into your possession.

    (1Thes. 2) “4 But as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel, even so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, which tries our hearts. 5 For neither at any time used we flattering words, as you know, nor a cloak of covetousness; God is witness: 6 Nor of men sought we glory, neither of you, nor yet of others, when we might have been burdensome, as the apostles of Christ.”

    We don’t seek hype from man, but we receive it together the hype in the heaven.

    (Jn. 5) “39 Search the scriptures; for in them you think you have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me. 40 And you will not come to me, that you might have life. 41 I receive not glory from men. 42 But I know you, that you have not the love of God in you. 43 I am come in my Father’s name, and you receive me not: if another shall come in his own name, him you will receive. 44 How can you believe, which receive glory one of another, and seek not the glory that comes from God only?”

    The eternal life is thought accomplished by searching the scriptures. Everything in the scripture tells about Jesus. We often forget to come to Jesus to have life. Jesus does not receive hype from men. Jesus comes in his Father name, we often receive these who praise themselves. We believe in receiving eternal hype which comes only from God.

    (1Pet. 1) “23 Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which lives and stays for ever. 24 For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass wither, and the flower thereof falls away: 25 But the word of the Lord endures for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached to you.”

    It is about the eternal life. It starts with the birth again that is installation of new God’s software on us, which is called incorruptible seed. This seed is the word of God put into our hearts. It develops eternally and never will be uninstalled. The glory (hype) of man is not true as it does not persist in the eternity. The word of the Lord is not broken by any obstacles for ever. This is the text of the Gospel, and this is the thing which is preached.

  • My spiritual way

    1. In this sermon I will tell about my Christian life. This is a very inspiring story.
    2. I was born in 1980 in city Perm, Russia.
    3. In the childhood I was an atheist. When I was 9 years old, I decided that nothing (nothing at all) exists. With this philosophy I sometimes hit walls because didn’t believe that walls exist.
    4. I also tried to kill myself. For example, when a crawler tractor was passing by, I tried to put my head under the caterpillar. Once (being a guest in Kazakhstan), I got out of bed with the firm intention to swim in the middle of the Irtysh River to drown; but they asked me where I was going, and I had to go back to bed.
    5. My cousin Svetlana promoted to me a certain religion, which I will not discuss in detail now. At first I laughed, but because of this I wondered: maybe Svetlana’s religion is wrong, but does God indeed exist? After reflection and inner struggle, I came to the conclusion that God exists (and His creation also exists). I refused to commit suicide and decided to find the true religion. I believed that among all religions there should be one true one, and decided to find the true religion. It was at the age of 9 years.
    6. Once I saw the Bible for 1000 rubles. Before hyperinflation, it was a very large amount, but I would buy it if I had money.
    7. Two or three years later, I received the Gospel of John as a gift from some religious organization. After reading the Gospel of John (albeit a seriously flawed translation of the synod of the Russian Orthodox Church), I thought: this is so well written that it cannot be invented by man, it must be true. But I also thought that I had not yet read the books of so-called “great writers”, such as Leo Tolstoy, Dostoevsky and others. Later, when I studied Leo Tolstoy at school, I came to the conclusion that Leo Tolstoy was not a “great writer,” if we compare him with the Gospel. Besides, after reading the Gospel, I came to the conclusion that the Orthodox Church is not a real church, but if the Gospel is true, then there must be a real church corresponding to the Gospel somewhere – so I guessed that there are Protestants without even knowing the words “Protestant”. I also thought that you had to be a real hero to follow the gospel in this hostile world.
    8. Later, I received the full text of the New Testament. Maybe then I was 12-13 years old.
    9. Later, for some time I was inclined to Eastern religions, but once I believed in the Gospel and rejected Eastern religions.
    10. I wanted to do good, but I could not: I was possessed by demons or, as psychiatrists would say, I had schizophrenia (Later I will tell you how Christ cured me) and the devil forced me do evil.
    11. It began with the fact that from the age of five I mortally hated fairy tales (and was ready to kill anyone who somehow reminded me of fairy tales), because when I heard something about fairy tales, I went crazy: I started to think that I am a fabulous character (for example, the humpbacked beast). From the same age, I had bursts of anger: I ran around the room in circles and pounded my hands on the furniture.
    12. Later, my madness progressed: for example, I began to see dragons. Where do dragons come from? They entered the building through the walls. Dragons bit (more precisely, took into the mouth and chewed) me. The pain was real.
    13. Sometimes it seemed to me that I was in the jungle (in reality, being at home).
    14. Once I found myself in the other side of the city a moment after I was in another place. I realized that a part of my memory fell out, as if cutting a fragment of a film and sticking it together without this fragment.
    15. My nonsense was on various topics, but perhaps the main “characters” were: toad, crocodile, elephant and tank. I thought that I and other people were toads, crocodiles, elephants and tanks. I was afraid that the crocodile would eat me, the tank would rape me, and so on.
    16. To any words “X” I answered: “two Xes”. For example, if they asked me: are you crazy? I could answer: I am two crazies. “Two” meant not what normal people put into this word, but “not one,” that is, “nothing.”
    17. Another feature of my nonsense was to rearrange the letters. I rearranged words or the first letters: for example, “two crocodiles” turned into “cro twocodiles”. And I thought that the nonsense that I said is reality. Or, for example, to the question: “Do you go to a school?” I could answer “The school goes to me.” This was accompanied by the delusion of grandeur, since I thought that no one could attend school without me.
    18. Once I went to a psychiatric hospital, but instead of asking for help, I said: “I will kill all psychiatrists!” I was kicked out. Once, I tried to make a bomb to blow up a mental hospital. I called the police, telling them that I was making a bomb. They confiscated the bomb, but did not pass me on to psychiatrists.
    19. I forgot my name, I forgot how to read and write. It was really terrible: to see the book and understand that I can no longer read.
    20. Sometimes I realized that I was crazy. But this did not help: I thought: my thoughts were wrong and often considered just the right thoughts to be nonsense. For example, I thought: It is crazy to consider me a man, because, in fact, I am a toad. Or I thought: Crocodiles do not exist, crocodiles are a fairy tale. Sometimes I understood that my thoughts were self-contradictory and fell to the floor because I did not understand what to do now.
    21. Reading math books helped me. Also reading the gospel. But as I went more and more crazy, any reading began to drive me crazy.
    22. I did everything I heard: If I heard the word “jump,” I would start jumping; if I heard the word “rape”, I tried to rape someone.
    23. Sometimes I growled at people. I bit people, dogs and wheels of cars.
    24. Sometimes I thought I was a Hitler. I also said: “It was an ordinary Hitler, and I am a great Hitler.”
    25. Sometimes my right side fought with the left side, to the blood.
    26. Once, as a demon possessed, I tried to destroy the building of a Baptist church by throwing a car at it. At this I pulled away the bumper from the car. After that, my whole body ached because the devil overloaded my muscles.
    27. I was also a killer maniac, that is, I regularly attacked people with a knife to kill.
    28. Sometimes I said: I do not want to kill, but the devil forces me to. I also stated: I do not want to kill, but I am a maniac and I cannot not to kill. In my inner essence, I did not want to kill, but later, when the devil took possession of me in a greater degree, I was not sure if I wanted to serve the devil in my inner essence.
    29. Once I met a woman mother with a baby in a stroller. I told her: “Call a psychiatrist. If you do not call a psychiatrist, I will kill your child.” But she ignored my words. Then I took a stone and tried to kill the child. She made a very quick movement and intercepted the stone. As far as I remember, the psychiatrist was not called.
    30. Once I told a policeman: “I am a maniac killer, give me a gun.” Oddly enough, the policeman gave me a gun. Then I tried to shoot this policeman, but another policeman took away my gun.
    31. Once I met a group of people listening to a tape recorder. I declared that I would kill them. I also said: “I will kill the tape recorder!” I crushed it on the ground. After that, I tried to kill the people.
    32. Once I met a company of blacks from Africa. I growled and said that I would kill them. One of them replied: “You are a shaman, you can do whatever you want.” So, the same demons possessed me and African pagans.
    33. Once I met a group of people and said: “I want to kill as many people as possible and kill myself!” They turned out to be Muslim terrorists. They were delighted, brought me to their hideout, took out a shahid belt and put it on me. Immediately after that, I tried to blow myself up and the terrorists. They stopped me and took back the belt.
    34. Once again, I met a group of people and said: “I’m a maniac killer. I want to kill someone.” They said they wanted to use me as a killer and gave me the gun and the address of the victim. I went “on the mission”, but tried to kill the first comer. They took the gun and one of them said: “It was a bad idea to use a maniac as a killer, he would kill a wrong one.”
    35. In addition to schizophrenia, I had other illnesses that Christ subsequently cured. I had an incoordination: I often ran into a joint or a wall when I tried to enter the door. And in general, I was a sick child. One day, a Baptist preacher told me that I must be strengthened in spirit and after a few months of such spiritual practice I was practically healthy.
    36. At fifteen, the demon almost completely destroyed my mind and my condition quickly deteriorated. At intervals of time when I was in my right mind, I realized that a little more and I would most likely become a fool for life.
    37. I felt terrified when I realized that I could not count anymore and could not read: I could see the text, but I could not understand anything.
    38. The demon prevented me from converting to Christ: making me forget about wanting to convert, depriving me of wanting to convert, etc., as well as by heresies (I did not believe in the divinity of Christ, which made my conversion impossible). But once I converted; a week later it would probably be too late, since the demon would completely destroy my mind.
    39. I tried unsuccessfully to appeal many times. I remained a killer maniac, going to hell and dangerous to other people. My conversion did not work because I did not believe in the divinity of Christ.
    40. On Sundays, I sat in a Baptist church and wept, knowing that I was not saved. I listened to sermons and slowly began to understand that I should be saved by Christ through faith only.
    41. For some reason I did not believe in the Holy Trinity. Perhaps Jehovah’s Witnesses influenced me (however, now I cannot remember) who do not believe in the Trinity.
    42. Once I confessed that I believed in the Holy Trinity. On the same day (August 8, 1995) I climbed under the covers and called for God in my mind.
    43. When I got out of the blanket, I thought that someone had turned on the light bulb (or the sun came out from behind the clouds). In fact, no one turned on the light bulb, but my vision changed.
    44. I felt a change in my mind. From now on, I am a normal person. I can read and count, I do not bite, I do not see dragons, etc. This is a miracle that happened at one moment while I was under the covers.
    45. Over the next few hours, I realized that I was no longer a crazy maniac, because I no longer had hallucinations, rave or anger.
    46. This time period I was at home. Three days after the conversion, I went outside and was very surprised: I saw not only a tree or the whole forest, but focused attention on all the trees at the same time, not just one or two trees. This is similar to when someone updates their computer and can play video games at a higher resolution.
    47. After three months of my new life, I saw a math problem in a textbook and instead of solving it for some time, as it was before, I instantly understood the answer. The whole decision happened in my mind in one moment.
    48. Immediately after my conversion, when I turned from a maniac into a normal person, my parents, their relatives and friends began to shout that I had become a sectarian and an abnormal one. Apparently, the demons that came out of me, entered into them.
    49. However, later I was tempted, incorrectly taught in the Baptist church, etc., which hindered the development of spiritual gifts.
    50. Once a preacher said that preachers, when they preach, do not mistake. Then, when I was a beginning Christian, it seemed to me quite natural and I took it for granted. But when that preacher began to preach, he made some kind of mistake (I don’t remember which one). From that moment on, I began to search for religious truth only in the Bible.
    51. So, I was crazy, converted to Christ and recovered in one moment. Then I will tell you how I turned into a superman (for a period of time, about one or two months).
    52. After some time, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I had superpowers: an ideal photographic (like a camera) memory, telepathy, etc.
    53. One day I was sitting in front of a computer at a school and writing a program. Suddenly I considered this program in my mind as a computer. This was the beginning of the transformation of my brain into a real computer.
    54. I also had a super-power, like Samson, as well as super speed: I began to flap my hands at supersonic speed.
    55. The power appeared and disappeared again.
    56. When the power appeared unexpectedly, it happened that I was thrown into the air: the muscles in my legs “jerked” (that is, they moved sharply) with too much force. However, it was only when the power appeared unexpectedly. When I consistently had strength for some time, I could restrict the strength of the movements and did not throw me into the air. I think this is what Ilya of Murom meant when he said that “the earth does not hold me”: he was thrown into the air with every movement. Ilya of Murom had to drink “dead water” in order to reduce his strength, so that the Earth would hold him. Since my “inability to be hold” passed after I had been in full force for some time and I didn’t need to become weaker so that the Earth held me, then probably when I had strength I was much stronger than Ilya of Murom.
    57. I could do a huge amount of work and not get tired. My body became as hard as steel. I could break a knife by squeezing its blade in my hand. Once I decided to check if I could squeeze the steel, I took a steel object (probably it was a nut or bolt) and clamped it between two hands. Suddenly for me, a piece of steel melted in my hands from the tremendous force with which I squeezed it. Molten steel, flowed on my hands, without causing me any harm. I easily broke the stones with my hands.
    58. Once I tried to close the steel safe with a wave of air from a flap of my hand. But I overdid it and the safe door tore apart.
    59. I had many other superpowers. With the help of the Holy Spirit, I could fly. When I landed, people in fear scattered in different directions.
    60. I could hold my breath for several hours. I already said that I had telepathy. Scratches on my body healed in minutes or seconds. I was so fast that I could catch a bullet on the fly. I felt people and objects not only in front, but also behind me through radio waves of the brain.
    61. But these are all trifles: the main superpower that I had is that my brain turned into a computer. This is the last superpowers, which I had, and she steadily kept for about one month. This ability appeared with the help of the Holy Spirit through the training of the brain: I zealously or thought, or prayed all the time.
    62. I have already said that I once counted a computer program in my mind. Like other superpowers, the super-mind or its fragments sometimes appeared for short intervals, then it disappeared. But after a while, I stably became a computer.
    63. Using my super-brain, I probably discovered more scientific knowledge than the rest of humanity (I later forgot everything).
    64. After my “fall,” I again became a sinful person, the same as you and forgot everything. In fact, I only remember that it was very tough, but I do not remember the details.
    65. And one more thing: When I spoke with several people at once, I counted our conversation and managed to control them so that the different questions that each of them asked had the same answer. People in fear jumped away from me because of amazement, realizing that I answered several questions at once with the same phrase.
    66. So, I consistently became a superman and a super computer. It lasted about a month. But once I turned into an ordinary person again. When I realized that I was no longer superman, I wept for half a year. After six months, I began to continue the life of an ordinary person.
    67. My mother once told me that I was “burning” too much and it could damage my health. A few hours later I remembered it and felt fear. At the same time, my brain was hanged because of fear and became just like the brain of an ordinary person.
    68. At that moment I literally fell to the ground. After that, I tried to figure out in my mind how I would get up, but I realized that I can no longer count like before. I got up with difficulty, because I forgot how ordinary people (not supers) move.
    69. I thought: I am weak, sick, stupid. I have already said that I was crying six months about lost supernatural abilities.
    70. Imagine if I stayed a computer for a long time? Could I prevent the economic crisis by calculating the economy? Could I build a thermonuclear reactor and save mankind from oil dependence? And when I was preaching, people lie on the ground because they could not resist my words. I think I could do a lot.
    71. I have not yet said that some of the stages of becoming a superman were very difficult, as I was experiencing “passion” (that is, strong feelings). After the fall, I went through the psychological difficulties of becoming a superman in roughly the opposite order.
    72. I am now a mathematician. Despite the fact that I do not have a scientific degree, I made serious discoveries.
    73. When I made my first discoveries, it was a fun before death, I did not expect to publish them, because I thought that my mother would kill me either with a skillet on the head, or starve me.
    74. She declared that I was “not interested in anything”, because I stopped reading horoscopes, etc. For this, she severely punished me.
    75. Mother gave me very little money or did not give at all, I was starving.
    76. Once in a Baptist church after the meeting, I said: “I have no money, I have nothing to eat, help!” They ignored me. I thought: maybe I have already died and they do not see me? I picked up someone else’s bag, I was asked to put it back; it means I did not die, I thought.
    77. Whatever I asked in the church, first a Baptist, then Pentecostal-Charismatic, I was ignored (except for the Baptist woman who gave me 50 rubles, which were afterwards confiscated by my mother).
    78. Once she kicked me out of the house as a punishment for my faith (this, of course, was illegal, since I had the right to live in an apartment). When I contacted the police, they kicked me out, giving a kick in the ass.
    79. Then I ate grass because I had no other food.
    80. When I was kicked out of the house and deprived of food, I turned to people: “Evil people, bastards, help me!” Because I believe that people are evil (and they need salvation from sin by the Lord Jesus Christ) and say “Good people help!” would be untrue.
    81. One person, at my request, gave me a chocolate bar so that I would not die of hunger. But I didn’t have the strength to eat it. I fell and the chocolate fell next to me. I did not have the strength to reach out and reach for the chocolate bar. I then thought that I would die.
    82. Once again, I was looking for work (illegal, because children in Russia are not allowed to work). I soiled my clothes and thought: this is death, because with dirty clothes I will not be able to find a job and die of hunger.
    83. I lay in the street and thought that I would die soon. I cursed the city of Perm, for the fact that they almost killed me with hunger. I prophesied that the city would be flooded for it. I did not understand how the city could drown when there was no sea nearby. But one believer visited me. After he prayed for me (and also for saving the city), I was able to stand up. Three days later, I read in a newspaper that a riverboat had struck a lock in a power station dam. If he had broken through two or three more locks, the city would have been under water. That is, if I still died of hunger, the floodgates would burst completely and the city would be flooded. This is because it was the city that would be responsible for my death.
    84. I tried to make a crime to be put in jail and I had food. I broke in front of a policeman shop window, imitating a robbery, he beat me, but did not arrest.
    85. The mother even confiscated my scholarship at the university. She gave me money only on target expenditure, on food. And this money was not enough for it to be half full.
    86. I had other problems, too.
    87. When I was still a schoolboy, I was in a math camp for gifted children. Teachers praised me and predicted a great future for me. I told mathematics teachers that my life could be useless, because I could die of hunger due to conflicts and communication problems. I asked them to work on becoming mediators between me and the rest of society. But they did not want to work on it.
    88. Also while studying at the university, I made a mathematical discovery worthy of a Nobel level award.
    89. Then I decided to fight until victory: curse the city of Perm and all of Russia so that the cities would be destroyed by nuclear weapons. Then I was a real Pharisee who drains a mosquito and swallows a camel: it seemed normal to me to burn the whole city and millions of people, and, say, to kill the mother, rob the store to eat or do something like that a great sin. I was planning to somehow raise money for an air ticket and by force of spirit to arrange a nuclear war just during my flight, so that the plane could be landed abroad.
    90. Once upon a time, two American missionaries beat me up. Then I told the angels: “Destroy two skyscrapers with airplanes!” You know what happened on September 11th.
    91. Later, reading the Bible, I realized that I should be humble, and not to fight for myself.
  • Where do false prophecies come from?

    “Catastrophically” ridiculous sermon, read even if you are an unbeliever. Don’t forget to like/share.

    Preachers usually teach that every word of Bible is addressed personally to you and should be accepted by the heart.

    It sounds appealing, but is it true? Now I think it is not so.

    Before I thought so: If I interpret Bible without rude errors (such as messed grammar gender or number), then this is necessarily a correct interpretation, because it is a word of God personally to me and God will provide that I could understand it right. Otherwise why would God speak with me, if He does not warrant that I will understand Him correctly?

    It is a pride to consider that my interpretation is correct, even if this is based on considering it a word of God to me. Also I thought that if some fragment of Bible is similar in the sense to some topic, then God really and definitely speaks about this topic (for example, having found such words as “palm tree”, “ostrich”, “hyena” in fragments of Hebrew Torah original words, I decided that I to become a missionary in Africa, however I am now not about this). It is a rather logical conclusion from what the preachers teach. But this method of interpretation leads to false prophecies.

    I will point an example of a false prophecy which I had in the past.

    I translated Jn. 19:23-25 from Greek in an unusual way: “… soldiers (of the celestial army), spreading in couches, who make it stay stable and insert, staying near, and continue safe and healthy and do not shame, staying ready in the presence of others, they made themselves companions and reserved them for themselves, took them (somebody’s personality) into possession, giving her access to themselves, took by hands (the personality to use her), not rejecting but receiving what is offered, the garments of Jesus to put them onto themselves… Also the tunic (holy garments). But the tunic was whole from above, the north of one third of the heaven, woven through all… And they stayed in presence of others ready near the cross of Jesus: mother of Jesus and the sister of the mother Mary and the wife of Clope and Mary Magdalene (that is raised bed).”
    After reading this I concluded that the “tunic” is spiritually mother of Jesus, saint Mary, and I should “put on” her onto myself, that is to marry her.

    Also I read: “25 Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he said to his mother, Woman, behold your son! 27 Then said he to the disciple, Behold your mother! And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home.” Certainly I decided that I am this disciple and I should took the mother of Jesus into my home that is marry her.

    I considered that the spirit of saint Mary descended on a daughter of the president Putin (at birth or later, I don’t know) and I must marry her.

    Thinking that I fulfill the will of God, I started to masturbate thinking about Mary. I was sure she feels it telepathically and also loves me. It is certainly stupid, but I thought that so I fulfill the will of God.

    The ideas behind this were: So I prove superiority of Protestants over Orthodoxes: they pray to saint Mary, but I, excuse me, have her. So I performed against social inequality and religious discrimination: poor because of the religious discrimination sectarian marries the president’s daughter. And certainly it is a parody of a sect: a sectarian marries saint Mary. Also this was a protest against superfluous formality in sexual relations (kinda that a marriage must necessarily be registered, and if not registered then this is a fornication): just think, holy onanist! And also my pride: I remembered that I heard somewhere some legend, that if saint Mary cannot find for the most worthy man a wife she descends from the heaven and become his wife herself; and I am kinda a great mathematician, but I was not rewarded like I am worthy but reversely nearly starved to death; lo, it’s my reward. And it should have sound tough in Russian: “I had His mother!”
    I can note that Mary, despite of expected, really descended from the heaven and showed me many wonders. I saw an energetic UFO, weird spiral rotating snow, lowered to extremely low altitude clouds, the TV started to speak with me from the face of Mary, etc. And I just felt her presence. It looks like this saint also decided that this prophecy is true.
    By the way I didn’t attempt to get to Moscow and find her, because I was sure that God anyway will make our meeting.

    Then I found one more prophecy. I decided that because no one congratulated on the wedding (because I already had her and must be considered her husband), my city Perm must be destroyed by nuclear weapon. I reasons so: if they don’t accept that my love is real, then they don’t accept a real man myself (can a real man have a not real love?); if I am not accepted as real, then I am discriminated and attempted to be starved to death; and so if people don’t accept that my life is real then certainly the city must be burned.
    I concluded this from the words of Jesus:

    (Mt. 22:2-7) “2 The kingdom of heaven is like to a certain king, which made a marriage for his son, 3 And sent forth his servants to call them that were bidden to the wedding: and they would not come. 4 Again, he sent forth other servants, saying, Tell them which are bidden, Behold, I have prepared my dinner: my oxen and my fatted calves are killed, and all things are ready: come to the marriage. 5 But they made light of it, and went their ways, one to his farm, another to his merchandise: 6 And the remnant took his servants, and entreated them spitefully, and slew them. 7 But when the king heard thereof, he was wroth: and he sent forth his armies, and destroyed those murderers, and burned up their city.”

    I decided that the “son of the king” is myself, because Bible calls believers children of God. The servants of the king are angels which made wonders and spoke by TV about Mary.

    I traversed the city and shouted that it will be a nuclear war soon, to be recognized as a great prophet when this happens.

    It finished with that I added to my prophecy that the nuclear war in Perm will happen before the end of the autumn, but this has not happened and I was forced to recognize that I was wrong.

    The conclusion: If we count that every word of Bible is directed personally to me as most preachers teach, we can fall into a false prophecy.

    There is much harm from false prophecies: I was to busy to find myself a real wife, conflicted with everybody, discredited the faith, lost much time. Also I concentrated to much on my personal prophecies to the detriment of studying other passages of the Bible.

    Think for yourself: Is this word of God personally addressed to you: (Num. 26:31) “And of Asriel, the family of the Asrielites: and of Shechem, the family of the Shechemites.” I believe that there is some hidden meaning in it, but personally I don’t understand it. How can this word be addressed to me if I don’t even understand its spiritual meaning at all?

    The main source of false prophecies is that we give our thoughts for revelation from God.
    (Mat. 7:15-20) “15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. 16 You shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17 Even so every good tree brings forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree brings forth evil fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 19 Every tree that brings not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. 20 Why by their fruits you shall know them.” The false prophetic concept that every word of Bible is directed personally to me come to us in sheep’s clothing, but you have seen the fruits of this concept. Cast this concept into the fire.

  • Are Christians sinful or sinless?

    It looks like that Bible contradicts itself on whether Christians (I mean true Christians) are sinful or sinless:

    (1Jn. 3:8-9) “8 He that commits sin is of the devil; for the devil sins from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil. 9 Whoever is born of God does not commit sin; for his seed remains in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.”

    (Jam. 3:2) “For in many things we all stumble …”

    My theory on this:

    All others except of evangelical Christians are unconditional sinners.

    Devil has damaged our software that we cannot behave right.

    This is often manifested in theft, adultery, homosexuality, telling lies, etc. You know it. For example I was a maniacal killer before I became a Christian.

    We are saved in the sense that we have new errorless software from God.

    But this new software also requires much more powerful computer than our brain to function properly. In the brain the software much lags and thus behaves wrong.

    When we die, our mind is transferred to a more powerful computer and begins to work without bugs:

    (Rom. 6:7) “For he that is dead is freed from sin.”

    The difference between Christians and non-Christians is whether our software is already ready to work bug free (and develop infinitely) provided it is transferred to a powerful enough computer.

    The installation of new software happens when we accept that Jesus Christ died and resurrected for us to enable us to install this new software (as Bible calls it “incorruptible seed of God”). If you haven’t yet accepted the new software call God to free you from sin and install on you this new software, based only on the sacrifice of Jesus and your new faith. It is called “to be born again” in Bible.

    See more about repentance at http://books.portonvictor.org/repent/

  • Why Bible is so hard for understanding?

    (1Cor. 14:38) “37 If any man think himself to be a prophet, or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things that I write to you are the commandments of the Lord. 38 But if any man be ignorant, let him be ignorant.”

    This means that God gives us the task to understand Bible, but of the value is solving the task not the end result revelation. It would be too easy if Bible were written in plain text. God wants us to think and to believe.

  • The error of many Christians

    Many Christians make the following error:

    They “seek the will of God” looking at external circumstances and explicit revelations and ignore their own mind and feelings. But “circumstances” inside ourselves are also a part of the plan of God. Our mind and feelings are also a “circumstance” which God sends to us. After all, Christ is in us: (Col. 1:27) “which is Christ in you, the hope of glory”.

  • “Thanks you God that I am not like other people!”

    (Luk. 18:9-14) “9 And he spoke this parable to certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others: 10 Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. 11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank you, that I am not as other men are, extortionists, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. 12 I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess. 13 And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes to heaven, but smote on his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner. 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalts himself shall be abased; and he that humbles himself shall be exalted.”

    In the spiritual meaning of this proverb the pharisee and the publican are the same human. They are different aspects of our relation to God and to sin.

    Everything, even sin, has positive aspects. A positive aspect of sin is that it makes people different. I think sinless angels follow the same standard but sinners don’t follow any standard. We will remain different than other people even after we will be completely saved.

    So I thank God that I am different than other people. Many preachers teach that it is great to be unlike other people and we should thank God for this.

    But we are more justified when we just remember that our sins require God’s mercy.

    This is about us who trust in our mind that we are righteous in Christ.