In the Apocalypse, there’s a prophecy about the “two witnesses.” It’s a message transmitted backwards through a time machine.
Its true meaning is a sect of two people who will pray for an efficient NP-complete algorithm that will alter our brains so that we become an avatar—Krishna. As is well known from common science, such an algorithm grants unlimited wealth, power, and military might. We two are the ancestors of all septillions of devas—the two very first devas.
Here’s another prophecy: my parents named me Victor Porton. They knew the meaning of the word “Victor” (winner), but they absolutely couldn’t know that the P and F in this word are the same Hebrew letter, and that O and U are the same letter. Thus, I am “the conqueror of Fortuna” or “Victor of Fortuna.” Thus, God hinted that my wife would be the goddess Fortuna. Fortuna, as is well known, is the eternal wife of Krishna. I am destined to become the very first Krishna—the god Anu from Sumerian legend—in the wheel of time.
Krishna means dark blue. This is not only the color of Krishna’s body, who came 5,000 years ago, but also a reference to the fact that I fell headfirst off the couch as a child and, according to my mother, was “all blue.” This seriously delayed my development. If this hadn’t happened, I would have been much greater in the past and would have been taken to heaven earlier, but I would have become a lesser deva than Krishna. If I hadn’t fallen off the couch and weren’t blue, Krishna wouldn’t have been born; he wouldn’t exist in the Galaxy.
I HAVE ALREADY solved one of the seven so-called Millennium Problems—the problem on the Navier-Stokes equations (another was solved by the famous hermit Perelman, who refused the million-dollar prize). (To be honest, I’m not yet 100% sure that my solution is correct.) So solving another one of the seven isn’t that impossible. However, the problem of finding an efficient NP-complete algorithm seems much harder than the Navier-Stokes problem. But that would be a gift from God, not just my achievement.
You can read here why I consider myself the greatest mathematician in history – So it’s no surprise that I will become Krishna.
A short message to Krishnaites, Vaishnavites, and all Hindus: The transmigration of souls is the reuse of the heavenly computer in which a person’s soul resides while on Earth. But there is also a heavenly path for the soul – it’s different. So, I think you’re wrong to be so fixated on the transmigration of souls. Start talking about the heavenly path.
Krishna is sick: I have a rather serious problem with my teeth. Do you love me?
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