ChronoSapiens: Time Machine and Religion

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  • Rabis, please discuss: Is pig kosher now?

    In Israel there were stolen $50 trillion.

    In your opinion, is after this pig kosher, because compared to stealing $50T eating pig is so much insignificant that it is well insignificant?

  • I am a failed Messiah

    In 1997, then I was 17 years old, I go superpowers (like superman or spiderman but real):

    • When I squeezed steel in my hands, it melted.
    • I broke concrete walls and beat flame from air by a flap of my hand.
    • I often kept things in air near my hand instead of holding in my hand.
    • I was a supercomputer. For example, I remembered everything what happened in my life, like a high-resolution digital camera.
    • I knew thoughts of other people. (Once I tried to speak with someone telepathically but he felt dead, because was unable to survive feeling good.)
    • I spoke with cosmos and with God.
    • A girl trying to make my penis unbend was unable to do it. I was able to discharge sperm without masturbation, like peeing.
    • Air around my body shone killing bacteria and viruses.
    • I slept standing.
    • I was able to cure a patient with skin cancer in a second just touching his body.
    • I saw in micro-wave diapason (through walls and also behind me).
    • Sometime people who touched me fell dead like ones touching Box of the Covenant.

    But once instantly I lost the super-abilities. I just walked down a street and instantly fell. I tried to resume my mathematical calculations but was unable. I realized that I am a man, not a superman again and was able only to weep half of a year, because I was unable to remember how and what it was to be a super. I was 100% super-computer for about 30 days.

    I had the plan to hypnotize all other people as a security measure for my body against your nuclear weapons.

    After this I was hit by head several times by enemies, reinforcing my memory loss of what it was.

    So, I don’t remember what it was, but now I have a scientific hypothesis:

    Being a Messiah means knowing an efficient NP-complete algorithm (that’s what the famous $1 million prized problem P=NP is about). It deciphers all ciphers and therefore overcomes sin (sin is a cipherer that ciphers our memory, to explain simply).

    Apparently, I discovered it (solved P=NP) in my 17 age, but I had some small error (maybe, this error that I got from logic studybooks). I feel when I hit this error; my memory again was just a cipher for me and I was unable to remember what happened.

    Note that, if the above is true, then my external behavior was indistinguishable from a real Messiah, because nobody was able to know that I have a small error inside.

    So, the citizens of Perm, Russia (including Russian Orthodoxes, Yehudis, Baptists, Charismatics/Pentecostals), rejected a 100% real Messiah. Rejecting a real Messiah is worse that Somomians did.

    Now I am in Ashkelon, Israel, and disgusting Israeli bastards don’t respect the deadbody of Messiah they have now at all.

    Once I was asked like “What you, superman, miss on the Earth the most?” I replied, “Superwoman.”

  • What is my sexual orientation?

    What is my sexual orientation?

    Disgusting bastard, my orientation is not sexual! I am oriented to mathematics. It seems I am the only man on the Earth that has non-sexual orientation, rewrite disgusting bastard orientation science textbooks.

    Well, I am in a man’s body and my hardware does want a woman. Is there any woman with non-sexual orientation? I would probably marry you.

  • God does not respect sex

    In my opinion, God does not respect sex at all.

    Contrary to what you think, God does not respect marriage, women, homosexuals, and transsexuals. (Have you noticed that I enumerated the things that are most respected by people? People respect good, honesty, generosity, active position etc. much less than marriage and other forms of sex.)

    So naughty God that He does not respect your holy things? Are you going to use your military airplanes against Him when He comes near?

    Therefore God does not respect:

    • “Sacred” Catholic marriage.
    • Yehudi’s all-time marriages.
    • Muslim paradise.
    • Sexual orientation (including LGBT).
    • Porn and half-naked singers.
    • Russians that say “Sex is the main thing in life.”
    • …

    So, I mean this: God does not respect the most respected thing of mankind, sex. Definitely, God fits into the definition of a biggot.

  • חטימה לֹא טובה בישראל ביום כיפור

    חטימה לֹא טובה בישראל: 50 טריליון דולר נגנבים.

  • Логика и религия

    Рави: читай Тору.

    Пастор: не следуйте логике.

    И вот что получается без математической логики.

    не следуйте вашей логике -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> не следовать математической логике, а следовать человеческой логике дальше

    читай Тору -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> не читай ничего другого

    не судите других -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> судите других за то, что они судят других

    не следуй пустой философии -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> следуй глупой философии, которую мы не будем называть философией

    решение принимает Бог + мы – представители Бога -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> мы не будем принимать решение, потому что решение принимает Бог

    долой злых духов + ангелы – это духи -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> ангел, пошел вон

    Бог живет на небе + пришельцы живут на небе -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> не пустим никого с неба

    не будь бедным -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> мешай бедным зарабатывать деньги, потому что они плохие

    все конфессии ошибаются -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> другие конфессии ошибаются

    служи -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> я – пастор, хочу заставить других служить себе

    проблемы иногда помогают -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> влипну в проблемы

    любить деньги плохо -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> надо быть бедным

    не заводи дурацких традиций -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> заводи традицию говорить “не заводи традиций”

    Бог передает информацию через дух -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> информационное поле – изобретение дьявола

    не признавай гомосексуализм добром -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> бей геев

    найди свое призвание -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> не меняй место работы, не помогай другим работать, не меняй место жительства

    каются, чтобы делать добро + если хочеть что-то делать, то делаешь -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> я покаяюсь, а добра делать не буду

    если хочешь что-то купить, платишь + я хочу помочь этому человеку -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> платить не буду, потому что это – не я -> (математическая логика) -> ты не хочешь помочь

    жена должна помогать мужу -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> назначение мужа – платить деньги жене

    не ходи к проститутке -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> отрицай, что проститутки бывают красивыми, а иначе попадешь в ад

    Бог умеет извлекать пользу из зла -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> я, религионый лидер, буду мучить своих подчиненных, чтобы им была польза

    Единственное, что я делаю в жизни – работа за деньги -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> я служу Богу

    Я действую в интересах своей страны -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> я служу Богу, который на небе

    не признавай ученых всегда правыми -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> не признавай знания

    (Осия 4:6) “Гибнет народ Мой, знания не обретя. И коли вы, священники, знание это отвергли, не служить вам более Мне — отвергнуты вы; пренебрегли вы Законом Бога вашего — и Я пренебрегу детьми вашими.”

    Библия – истина -> (математическая логика человеческая логика) -> мой перевод Библии – истина

  • You have a bug in your operating system

    You have a bug in your operating system:

    • You have no API operation to send money to a given address without input.

  • Scientificism, a silly dislogic

    Scientificism, also sometimes called scientism, is the ideology that all knowledge should be scientific and hold by academia.

    • Scientificist: All data should be got from technological measurement devices.
    • Me: To measure a thing we need a device with a measurement arrow, to measure the position of the measurement arrow we need another device of the measurement arrow, to measure it, we need another device with arrow, … The cost of science is infinite.
    • Scientificist: Scientific knowledge belongs to academia.
    • Me: Wait, I hold a half of your shares!
    • Scientificist: Knowledge is published in scientific databases.
    • Me: Half of shares of scientific databases is held by a sexual maniac that reject science.
    • Scientificist: We base our objective knowledge on measurements.
    • Me: To define electron, we measure it with a brain, a brain has electrons inside, to define electron, we need to define electron first.
    • Scientificist: We work for the greatest, USA science!
    • Me: I got half of your economy.

  • Are condoms a good protection?

    • Propagandist: Condoms are a very good protection against STIs.
    • Doctors: Syphilis is transmitted also through skin touching.
    • Propagandist: Well, I meant that syphilis can be treated by antibiotics.
    • Scientists: Antibiotics don’t work with new brands of bacteria we “vaccinated” by giving them wrong doses of antibiotics in the past.

  • A typical legal dialogue

    • Lawyer: We help everybody.
    • Victim: I had $300 and $200 were stolen.
    • Lawyer the service price is $2000.